We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
