Define "chronic" masturbator.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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