so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I need water and some morals
Randomize
