Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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