i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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