it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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