i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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