did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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