We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
