3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
