i jhust puked up my retainher.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
