i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
