You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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