He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
