dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
