i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
