I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize
