i need an iv and a liver transplant
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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