i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
40s are totally the cure
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize