I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
