talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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