1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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