Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize