My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
