apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
