Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She's just so happy...and so naked.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
