Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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