No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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