awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
