whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
