The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
