It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
