omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
