I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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