i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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