He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize