Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
