Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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