how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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