awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
