would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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