Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize