marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize