i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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