You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
