Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize