you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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