it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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