I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
