Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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