And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
