Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
