Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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