covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
