OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There are leaves in my underwear?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
