At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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