I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
